Thursday, February 25, 2010

psalm 91

Sunday we went to the Episcopal church literally across the street. (CODEP is not officially affiliated with any church, as far as I know, but the church has given us permission to use their property... which is where the compound is built). We walk to the end of our driveway, cross the streets, and walk up a hill to the church/school (both of which were damaged immensely in the earthquake). The roof of the sanctuary caved in, so we are now sitting outside under a large tree. The shade was appreciated as was the slight breeze that rustled the leaves above our heads... particularly as the heat of the day increased. The liturgial service lasted roughly 2.5 hours, with Nicole translating the main concepts for me. We were not able to follow most of the songs, unless someone in the congregation was also following along in the book and indicated the page on which the words were written. At one point, Pe (Father) Auguste conversed with me in English to ask my name and express his and the congregation's welcome. He also stressed their gratitude in my coming to Haiti to see with my own eyes what hardships they experience instead of just watching it on the news. It was a humbling and nerve-racking few moments... to be singled out in that way. Read Psalm 91 when you get a chance. That was one of the passages they read during the service. It brings new meaning, considering their recent life-story, and might even draw a few tears (as it did for me).

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

the meat district

Saturday I went with Nicole, Clement (who has worked with CODEP from its beginning), and Jeannette (who cleans the compound on a weekly basis) to the market. It seemed to be bustling with people and activity. People set up "shop" under wooden poles that held up scattered sheets to help protect from the heat of the sun. As we walked through the market, I found myself regularly squatting and walking strangely to avoid hitting these "roofs." We hobbled over piles of rubble at different points, but it seems they are bringing it in to some places to act as gravel and help minimize the mud and cover the feces that is common. I carried bags and felt incredibly out of place.

We passed through the "meat district," where slabs of various kinds of meat hung and were being separated into smaller portions. One man was hacking away at the chunk in front of him with a machete, which was spraying pieces of fat and meat in an arc around him and was evident by the globs covering his bare chest. Behind him there was a bef (cow) tied up grazing. We stopped at multiple vendors to spread out our purchases to a variety of individuals.

I understood nothing of the conversations around me and began to question what purpose I was serving that morning other than carrying a bag of goods. I quickly reminded myself that the purpose that day was simply to experience the market and did my best from there out to just observe and activate my senses. It was hot, sticky, and smelled of body odor. Haitians pressed close together to utilize the crowded walkways and obtain the goods they were seeking. I realized that yelling doesn't always indicate anger, not even when I think the tone might support that deduction.

Jeannette was protective at different times, steering me with our small group and trying to trade bags so that I wasn't carrying a heavy one. She directed me before her for a while, but eventually seemed to sevse that I was ok with my surroundings that that I wouldn't get separted. She and Clement took an opportunity at one "shop" to help identify the kreyol name for some of the items (of course I forgot them before we even made it back to the compound). It helps to hear the information in a variety of contexts and situations so that the words begin to connect more readily.

Jeannette and Clement were also very cautious at the roadside. One thing that can be tricky in crossing the roads here is that the vehicles won't stop for people. Pedestrians do NOT have the right of way as is custom in the US. Therefore you have to time your crossing carefully, particularly in a group so that everyone can stay together.

The drive to and from the market was sadder to me than my trip from the airport. I saw so much need. I saw people making do with incredibly little, just trying to survive another day. People milled about tent camps or on the edges of camps of "shelters" which were no more than fresh, raw timber from local trees or sheets to create some privacy and/or protection from the sun.

Friday, February 19, 2010

a little shaking and a floating palm

Since arriving on Sunday, we have probably experienced maybe about a dozen aftershocks... a good number of which I have slept through. The first one I experienced on Monday evening left me jumping up and heading to the door, but mostly because everyone around me was doing just that. The aftershocks are sporadic, but leave the Carlin children nervous. We had two last night that riled the kids and had Mike coming over to the building where I am sleeping to check on me and make sure I wasn't too rattled. Before those two, it had probably been about 36 hours since the last one we felt. Frankly, I wait a second before even moving or responding... at which point the noise and shaking is finished. They really only last a second or two, and nothing has even fallen off the shelves yet.

A few of the other details to which I have been introduced. First, there are tiny little ants that are like vultures. They are constantly in the kitchen, finding any and every available crevice to access sugar. They also attach to areas on the counter where we don't wipe down well enough. Yesterday afternoon, I went to get a snack only to see a line leading right into one of the plastic cereal containers. We had to stop everything and deal with that mess immediately. Another aggravation is the random bug bites we all find on our bodies. Apparently these "invisible" creatures prefer joints. They really enjoy the taste of elbows and knuckles. My elbows are currently marked with 19 red spots just from the last 2 days. Finally (and maybe biggest on the frustration scale) we come to the water. Please don't misunderstand me... we have potable (aka drinking) water available in abundance. However the water from the tap smells overpoweringly of rotten eggs. My hat is off to the sulfur here which greets us each time we flush the toilet, take a shower, and wash dishes or clothes. I keep trying to think in terms of hard-boiled instead of rotten eggs (because that seems less harsh), but the smell distracts me from my good intentions.

Early evening, I had a few free moments to myself. I stepped out on the deck and noticed a few young men on the beach, working hard at something. Upon closer inspection, I realized they had something in the surf that looked like a portion of a Royal Palm tree. As I continued to watch, they began to remove planks from the water and lay them up on the beach. I shared my observations with Nicole, and we deduced that they probably had brought the planks some distance by floating them in the water until they met the barrier of the exposed reef and had to carry them past. It made us sad to think about the need that exists where people are choosing to cut down trees and take long-term options away, but simultaneously recognize the need that presses them to that decision. Based on their appearance, chances are these planks will go to creating shelter. Without a home, what else would we do? Without a way to cook food, what else would we do? ...probably the very same thing as these young men...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

settling in (c)

The Carlin children and I played a game of tag this afternoon. As we ran around, three of the staff who are regularly on the compound were sitting on a bed where one of them sleeps in the evenings and which he has pulled outside under the second story deck. They were watching and laughing as we chased each other. After a bit, I decided to pick up some of the large red (practically a cranberry color) leaves that fall from the almond trees in our courtyard so that I can use them to decorate my space later. Two of the gentlemen soon joined the game with the children. One played in his bare-feet, running on the rocks and shells that constitute our gravel. Tessa commented on it to Nicole and me at one point when she took a short water break in the middle of the game. I don't even like to walk without shoes in my house (anywhere) becuase I don't like getting dirty feet or having things stuck to the bottoms. We ended up discussing the differences in life and the impact in even this way, but just imagine how tough our feet would be if we did not have a pair of shoes for the first however many years of our lives. We too would grow accustomed to living, working, and playing barefoot.

settling in (b)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Today as I was returning to the compound with Nicole after gathering greens for dinner in the outer gardens, one of the beach kids (Pierre Richard) stopped us to say hello. This little encounter had me thinking about my first encounter with a group of the local children on Monday afternoon. The Carlin family and I went down to the beach to spend some time with "the beach kids" as we often refer to them. The Carlins had described some of them at different points in the past weeks. Others we all met for the first time together. The Haitian children often tried to engage me in conversation, despite the fact that my Creole is obviously poor and I struggled to follow or respond to their questions. Some of the older youth used the little English they know. One girl in particular was persistent. Mer-flur (sp?) wanted to speak with me and was disappointed that we were not able to find a mutual language in which to converse. Eventually we were able to get our names, ages, and a few minor details communicated with the help of her older brother Jubear (sp?) who works with the project some and knows some English. Pierre Richard is also their brother, and I had met both boys the day before. I look forward to speaking and understanding more of the language so that I am able to hold more full conversations.

settling in (a)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I am constantly struck by the presence of the waves... so rhythmic and yet so irregular. The power behind the water that pushes it into the shore reminds me of my Father. He is almighty without question. It's truly a beautiful noise in my ears and lulls me into a place of peace and contentment. This morning after getting ready for my day, I stood on the deck and watched the waves glide into the beach below. We do not have much of a beach and that which we do have is more rock/shell than sand, but the water beyond is many gorgeous shades of blue and green. The coral which sticks out now as a result of the earthquake, was not as visible as the evening prior. Now depending on the time of day, one can see 6-12 inches above the water. As I was gazing through the trees at 2 of the 3 sections of reef within sight of our deck and beach front, I spotted a man fishing in a small boat. As I continued to watch, I noticed another boat a bit farther out. It left me wondering whether these gentlemen were hoping to catch a couple of fish to sell for a small bit of income or to keep as food for themselves and their families.

Monday, February 15, 2010

premye esperians (first experience)

I wrote this my first night here while trying to sleep...

As I lay here listening to the waves crashing against the shore and the insects chirping in the garden, I am inundated with thoughts and unable to go to sleep. I decided to get up and write down some of the thoughts swirling about my heard instead of continuing to aimlessly lie awake, staring at the light coming through the rafters from the room across the hall and the white mosquito net above my bed.

The morning started with adventure as we tried to find the airport. I had spent the night at Scott and Martha Brittons' home at ECHO Global Farm where Scott works. Scott had graciously agreed to drive me and a carload of the items the Carlins and I would be taking back to HAiti. My knees were jammed against the dashboard, while Scott and I laughed about needing Mike to shoot up a flare for us to find the airport. The difficulty in finding our destination came about because we were looking for the private airport in Fort Myers. We found the desired location and proceeded to unload the vehicle. Nicole and Mike had met us outisde. Nicole escorted me to where I could get free coffee and cookies to start my day and took my Camelbak to place with their carry-on belongings. I got a cup of coffee and marveled at how nice the treatment was already. I then began my short search for where Nicole had disappeared to. She was seated with the children in reclining leather chairs in front of a large screen television watching the magic school bus. We spent about an hour just watching the show and appreciating the novelty of our experience. Sophie Carlin came out of the bathroom at one point in awe over the availability of free mouthwash (I too was excited, particularly after 2 cups of coffee haha).

The experience certainly did not end there. We were transported the 200 feet on a large sized golf cart directly to our plane. Seven steps later we were inside the cabin debating on who would sit where. Ultimately, the Carlins all sat in the captains' chairs, which left me the couch to myself. We got situated while our pilots instructed on safety precautions and closed the door for take-off. I made the comment at one point that I could grow accustomed to that lifestyle, but quickly realized that I don't think I could stand it for long without thinking of all the people who had so much less and then what things I could do without.

Our flight from Fort Myers to Port-au-Prince lasted roughly an hour and a half, during which we snacked on the provided breakfast of coffee cake, strawberry muffins, banana bread, and a variety of fruit including mango, pineapple, grapes, strawberries, blueberries, cantaloupe, raspberries, star fruit, etc. (It was my first taste star fruit, although I was informed it was not ripe and therefore not as sweet as it could be... but still quite yummy). We all switched seats at least once and played games or read the on-board magazines/newspapers. The seats swiveled, the couch pulls out into a bed, and the window shares were controlled by a button. I'm fairly certain that I surpassed my bucket list goal of one day flying first-class.

As we neared Port-au-Prince, our altitude was low enough that we were able to see the island our our windows. It was a hazy day, which made us wonder if it was rainy but I'm now guessing that the haze was due to the smoke from the numerous fires we passed. Military personnel directed the plane to its parking place once we landed. We unloaded the plane, gathered all of our belongings on three push carts, and headed to customs.

Customs consisted of a desk manned by two individuals who stamped our passports and took the paper we had to fill out to enter the country. We walked through a hallway. The children commented on the devastation and the difference from their first trip to this one. We were met outside by Clement, Guito, Mimi, and Leek (four of the staff from the compound) who helped us load the truck. We then climbed in the back of the truck using the tires for a boost and sat on two wooden benches that are positioned back to back and face out to the sides of the truck bed.

We then had an hour and a half drive to L'acul which is approximately 25 miles from Port-au-Prince. My legs quickly tired because they were propped against the edge of the truck bed holding me onto the bench. When I could I would stretch them out, but I didn't try until we were outside the city. Before then, people would pass as they pleased (usually close to the truck), creating lanes of traffic at will because there were no lines dictating otherwise.

I did not take any pictures of our drive from Port-au-Prince to L'acul because today was the third day of national mourning in Haiti for the victims of the earthquake. I just did not feel it was appropriate to document my travels today. However, the pictures on the news are accurate. Devastation and destruction are everywhere. Streets were lined with tents and with make-shift "shelters" which really only acted as relief from the sun. We also passed a number of groups which had obviously gathered to honor their brethren. They marched the streets, singing and waving branches. I found myself struggling to hold back tears a couple times, as I am certain we all have when viewing images of this tragedy.

The road was cracked in half in places that Nicole reports it wasn't before the earthquake. We were able to clearly see the fault line that runs below this portion of Haiti because there was a crack in the earth that ran alongside the road we traveled for a good length of the journey. The mountainsides had visible collaspes even from sea level.

As we drove, I was struck by the number of smiling faces I saw. Many people sought to make us smile during our journey, and others waved hoping that we would wave back. In particular the children we passed were interactive with our group. The questions that kept running through my head as we drove was "what must the people be thinking as 7 blancs pass them with seemingly a truck full of stuff?" That is a question that I haven't answered yet and one I am certain to face at different points or in some variation during the course of my stay here.

The countryside is beautiful. I was able to meet some of the Haitians with whom we regularly have contact. I viewed our grounds and buildings. We made a decision about which "apartment" space I will call home for the next year (although it is not ready yet for me to inhabit). I set up my current space and then began helping with unpacking/organizing in the Carlins' space until dinner which was followed shortly by a shower and bed (at least until I woke back up and couldn't return to sleep... and consequently this long description of my day). Right before dinner, I also took a few pictures of the water and mountains that surround the compound.

There is much work to be done, but the next couple of days have been designated for resting and regroupings in preparation of what is to come.

prior email updates...

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Hello all. I'm writing to give the most current update I have concerning the Haiti Fund Inc/CODEP project and my future departure from the USA. This week, the Carlin family (with whom I will be traveling to and working with in Haiti) arrived in Pittsburgh. They arrived on Thursday (a day ahead of schedule) in order to get Mike (the husband/father) on a flight to Ft. Lauderdale, FL where he connected with Scott Britton (a close friend). On Friday, Mike and Scott flew into Santiago in the Dominican Republic. Saturday morning they were helicoptered into Leogane near the compound in Haiti. Saturday afternoon, Mike and his wife, Nicole, were able to chat over the internet about the status of the beach compound where they have been living since September. Parts of the wall surrounding the compound had fallen and crushed portions of the garden. The buildings on the compound showed some cracks, but visually appeared to be stable. When Nicole spoke with him, Mike had only been on the compound for an hour. In that hour, they experienced two aftershocks. During these aftershocks, the buildings responded to the earth shake, but did not appear to be unstable. Obviously, there are still questions about the structural stability of the buildings. In the meanttime, they are making plans to be able to access the computers and internet so that no one will have to be inside the concrete buildings to do so. Generally people are doing all they can to get outside during the aftershocks, which makes sense considering the number of buildings that have collapsed.


Some of the other details Mike shared are as follows. Everything on shelves in the buildings fell off, but Mike reported that the staff had cleaned the rooms prior to his arrival. The stoves, refrigerator, and freezer moved away from the walls, but did not fall down. The water heater for both the directors' quarters and the guest house fell and damaged everything in the way on their way down. In the directors' quarters, they believe this only affected some construction materials. In the guest house, the water filtration system was damaged. Mike also reported damage in the piping from the well to the buildings. Some of the concrete ponds for the tilatpia also broke and lost all their water. None of the beach children who are involved with the project died. Praise God. Mike and Scott were planning to spend the majority of today trekking into the mountain to assess damage and need throughout the rest of the project area.


They will also be present for the first distribution of supplies that is scheduled to arrive tomorrow or Monday. At this point we don't have any specific information on how the supplies will actually make it to the area, but Mike is going to work with the Haitians involved with the project to apply the system and skills they have been using for years to distribute fertilizer to now distribute whatever supplies arrive. Mike and Scott are hoping to return to the States in the next couple of days, but again we don't have details on exactly how that will happen. Nicole and I have been processing the situation as time and information allows. There are a few scenarios we are considering for the short-term as we await more specifics to help us determine the longer-term plan. My last day at my current job is Friday, January 29th. After that, we are planning to move as a team wherever that may be.


I wish I had more answers for the numerous questions being asked, but I don't. I do know that HFI/CODEP is incorporating the obvious need for immediate relief into their established long-term development projects. Please feel free to continue looking for additional information and updates on the website at http://www.haitifundinc.org/. We are all working to give information as we receive it, while recognizing that is has been changing regularly.


Thank you to all who have already supported the people of Haiti whether it was through a financial donation to some organization or whether it is through your prayers. There is still much work to be done, but Haitians are no strangers to hardwork. They are accustomed to making the most of the available resources and have faith and hope that things will get better.








Sunday, January 24, 2010


Hi again. I realized last night after sending off yesterday's update that I had forgotten a few details. First and foremost, I wanted to say that if you have any questions that I am not answering, please let me know. Because I am not sending out daily updates, I sometimes forget that certain details may not have been communicated. I apologize for that and hope that you will let me know if I have assumed you know something that indeed I didn't manage to mention.


As far as Mike Carlin returning to Haiti, his presence there has two main purposes. The first is to set up reliable communication. He is delivering a rented satelliete phone and then working to make using the internet and computer accessible to the staff at the project. The second purpose is to assess the situation currently. Having communication established should help to continue assessing matters once he returns to the states.


As far as I know, we will not be returning to Haiti as a group until there is food, water, and fuel accessible to us so that we are not taking from the relief efforts/supplies that are currently in place. But as I said yesterday, as this point we don't have a clear sense of how long it will be before we will have those available.








Monday, February 1, 2010


Greetings! I am currently procrastinating from the final stages of packing and decided that if I managed to actually get out another update that I could at least count the time as mildly productive :) I will therefore get down to business and probably keep it fairly short.


I finished my last day of work on Friday, spent some time with friends and co-workers, and then traveled to western New York to see family on Saturday. It was relaxing once I got on the road and put thoughts of packing out of my mind. I had some really great conversations while I was there and enjoyed every minute of that mini-getaway. I was also able to connect with a few people who will soon by following my adventures in Haiti. I returned to Pittsburgh this evening.


The Carlin family left Pittsburgh this morning and flew to Miami to meet up with some friends before Mike hopefully travels on to Haiti later this week. As I said already, I am packing up the remainder of my belongings. I will be heading out tomorrow morning if all goes as desired. Over the next 4-7 days I will be traversing the countryside to see some of you who are supporting me. Then I will be flying to meet Nicole and the children wherever they are stationed at the time. As a team we have discussed all returning to Haiti as early as next week, although to my knowledge there are no definite plans at this point.


As you may be able to infer, I am taking it one day at a time. I will update you more as the details reach me. In the meantime, my specific prayer requests are the ability to finish organizing my things. The drive tomorrow is 3.5-4 hours to New Straitsville, OH where I will be staying with a good friend. I will be sharing with Hemlock Community Church in the evening. Wednesday I will likely be continuing on to Smiths Grove, Kentucky 6 hours away. I hope to attend Lifeway Community Church that eveninig. I am looking forward to some down time with family and friends after that.







Saturday, February 6, 2010


This week I was supposed to leave for Haiti. Instead I have spent the last few days meeting new people and giving updates about my trip, which has been interesting when the answer is so frequently "we don't know yet." Regardless, I do know that God is fully aware of the situation we are facing. He has known our travel plans well in advance and is taking care of all the details.

Mike Carlin, John Winings (executive director of HFI/CODEP), a couple of board members, and an additional couple of men left on Thursday, February 4th to prepare for the entire Carlin family and myself to return next week. They plan to assess the project more fully and begin developing a plan on how we will proceed in our efforts at this time.

I believe Mike and his companions will be returning on the 10th. If all goes according to plan, there is a good possibility that the Carlin family and I will then be flying to Port-au-Prince on February 14th. In the meantime, Nicole and the children are still in Florida. I will be joining them prior to our departure, but I do not yet know exactly when I will do so. My goal this weekend is (hopefully) to developo a more concrete plan :)




Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Many of you have been asking for details on when I am leaving the country. It finally dawned on me yesterday afternoon that the reason for so many asking in the last couple of days was that at one point just over a week ago, that was the information I had been sharing with you all. In fact, I have not left the country. I am currently still in Kentucky with family and friends and addressing last minute details. I am however flying from Nashville, TN to Ft. Myers, FL tomorrow morning to meet the Carlins. Mike is supposed to be returning to the states today, which will allow us to have 3 days together as a team for planning and preparation before we leave for Port-au-Prince, Haiti on Sunday morning. Yes, I do mean this Sunday, which is February 14th.

The follow-up question people ask when they hear when I'm leaving is how am I doing. So I will answer that one now as well. I am at times feeling the anxiety I would expect knowing that I'm making such a big change in my life. The anxiety is not overwhelming, but is occasionally present when some of the specifics are "finalized" for this trip. I am also frequently feeling as if I can't get everything accomplished that I need/want to, but I know God is in control and am therefore comforted that the details will be handled. I am a little sad to be leaving my friends and family, but I am definitely excited to see what God has in store for me. The excitement is generally more prominent than any of the anxiety.




Saturday, February 13, 2010

Greetings all!
I am currently sitting in the Carlins' hotel room typing this quick update as we finish our lunch cleanup and have a couple short minutes of downtime. We have spent the morning making some last minute purchases, which will continue this afternoon as well. In the morning, we will be taking ourselves and our belongings in two vehicels to the airport to catch a private flight out of Fort Myers and into Port-au-Prince. I believe the flight is scheduled to leave around 9am. We should arrive in Haiti before noon and then will be meeting Clement (one of the staff there) who hopefully will bring the big truck to make transportation back to the compound somewhat easier. Once we arrive in L'acul we are planning to have a day to unpack, do laundry, and ideally unwind just a bit before the week starts.




Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day. Friends of mine said to me a few days ago, "we are so happy that your dream/adventure is about to take off and how appropriate that it be Valentine's Day... sharing your heart and love!" Their words of encouragement put a new spin on this beginning.

I had begun to type this email once already tonight. It was more detailed then, but I accidentally erased it and am now too tired to spend the same amount of time clearly describing what the day was like. Instead I will say that we arrived safely in Haiti, made it through customes (not at all what I would have expected), drove to L'acul, past some seriously devastated areas, and spent the remainder of the day unpacking/organizing. It has been a long, full day. I am sunburnt and ready for bed. Therefore I will say goodnight and promise to fill you in more in depth soon.

Thank you to those who are faithfully supporting me in prayer. Over the next week, I ask specifically for strength and wisdom in self-care as well as being open/available to those around me as I readjust to my new home and life. The transitions certainly have not stopped. I also need to make time for God and practicing/adding to my Creole knowledge.